You know ’em. The dingy little rooms that reek of old booze where even the most sophisticated spit and in which the rules are just as hazy as the people who walk out. Yep, welcome to the cellar door. Our roving sampler Campbell Mattinson offers some tips on making the most out of your next visit.
The last thing any of us need is a set of rules telling us what we can and can’t do when it comes to wine. It’s just top stuff. There’s loads of it to enjoy, drink, share and to learn about. That’s it. If I want to rip the top off a big bosomy bottle of red that’s absolutely primed, and match it to fried dims sims from the two-bit chipper ’round the corner, then why the hell not? Sure, I might have a problem with the way I relate wine to lingerie, but hey, if I’m enjoying myself and not hurting anyone, then that’s fine. That’s wine.
But when it comes to getting out there and spending time visiting wineries, well, some of the old rules stay. Actually, they don’t, but there’re some tips that help you get the most out of it all. Simple things, like: don’t drink and drive, keep an open mind, and especially, don’t forget to undo your seatbelt before trying to charge the tasting room.
But seriously, here’s a case of the best:
1. Ditch the fragrance for the day
2. Get a feel for where you are
3. If you chew and taste you’re a bloody idiot
4. Huck that mouthful
5. Food fight
6. Easy Tonto…
7. On your bus or on your bike?
8. Word up before you come…
9. Or of course, you can always cheat…
10. Now that’s an order
11. Open up and say ah
12. And then there’s the question of price
Really though, it’s beautiful out there in wine country — just get out there and sniff and swirl them babies, and enjoy yourself.
Photo: Alex Aslangul