10 Ways To Avoid Making Dessert

by Bob Blumer

Magazine Issue: Internet Only

Let them eat cake.

1) When your dinner guest calls in the afternoon to politely ask if he/she can bring anything, ask him/her to swing by a fine bakery for a few harmlessly sinful pastries (1 per guest).

2) Serve premium ice cream, frozen yogurt, sherbert, or gelato, either directly from the container or topped with:

fresh strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, mangoes, kiwis, etc.
bananas kissed with brown sugar*
an atrociously rich brownie
M&M’s
A crumbled Heath chocolate bar3) Flambe** any of the preceeding ice cream combinations with a tablespoon of one of the following: Grand Marnier, Cointreau, Sambuca, Framboise, Dark Rum, etc.
4) Top vanilla or chocolate ice cream with creme de menthe liqueur and serve with chocolates, or shower with chocolate flakes using a regular grater to grate any solid chunk of white or dark chocolate.

5) After a light meal, serve a selection of very ripe cheeses.

6) After a heavy meal, serve a selection of fresh (and, if possible, exotic) fruits.

7) After a BBQ, bring out a bag of marshmallows and watch your “grown-up” friends regress to childhood before your eyes.

8) Serve freshly brewed, flavored coffee. Or spike freshly brewed coffee with your favorite liqueur and top with whipped cream (optional).

9) Have sex instead.

* This one bends the rules a bit. In a saute’ pan over med-high heat, melt 2 tbsp. of butter and add 3 tsp. brown sugar. After sugar melts, add one or more sliced bananas and saute’ for 3 minutes. Pour contents over vanilla, chocolate, or coffee ice cream. For Adventure Club members, before removing bananas from saute’ pan, add an ounce of dark rum or hazelnut or coffee liqueur and touch a flame to the liquid. (Be sure to follow flambe’ precautions.)

** To flambe, place alcohol in a tablespoon. Using a match, lighter or candle, heat underside of spoon for 10 seconds and then touch flame directly to liquid. While liquid is burning, pour over ice cream. For added melodrama, dim lights and pour from I foot above plate. Do not do this near anything flammable (i.e., tablecloths or napkins).